Forgiveness
“I forgive others when they upset me and/or when they behave badly towards me, and I use that information in my future relations with them.”
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What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness means to extend understanding towards those who have wronged or hurt us. It means to let go. In many cases this is the letting go of some or all of the frustration, disappointment, resentment, or other painful feelings associated with an offense. Forgiveness, and the related quality of mercy, involve accepting the shortcomings, flaws, and imperfections of others and giving them a second (or third) chance. As the expression goes, it is letting bygones be bygones, rather than being vengeful. It is a process of humanizing those who have led us to feel dehumanized.
Letting go of guilt and anger is often difficult, but it is a powerful step toward healing. Forgiveness is not always easy. It may require you to confront emotions such as anger, guilt, and betrayal, but doing so can lead to emotional healing and growth. Letting go of a grudge can improve your health, bring peace to your heart, and create space for increased joy and connection in your lives. Sometimes, it also means having the courage to say "sorry" or to accept one.
It is important to distinguish forgiveness from:
condoning (removes the offense)
forgetting (removes the awareness)
reconciliation (restores the relationship)
Forgiveness is a strength within the virtue category of temperance, one of six virtues that subcategorize the 24 character strengths. Temperance describes strengths that help you manage habits and protect against excess. The other strengths in Temperance are forgiveness, humility, prudence, and self-regulation.
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Where does forgiveness appear in your character strengths profile?
Forgiveness can contribute to productive interpersonal relationships, thriving teamwork, job satisfaction, personal morale, innovative problem-solving, a sense of flexibility when facing changes, and productivity.
These are some of the many benefits of developing your ability to practice forgiveness. It’s an ongoing journey that takes work, but the results often include increased connection, inner calm, and reduced grudge holding. When you begin to understand how forgiveness works, you may know more about your emotions, the people around you, and what you truly need to move forward.
Learn how to activate this strength and all of your other strengths with your personalized Total 24 Report.
- Frequently Asked Questions About Forgiveness
- What is forgiveness as a character strength?
Forgiveness involves letting go of resentment or frustration toward someone who has caused harm. It means choosing understanding over retaliation and recognizing that everyone has flaws. This strength supports emotional balance and improved relationships. It’s also a reflection of your character and emotional maturity.
- Is forgiveness the same as forgetting or excusing the behavior?
No. Forgiveness does not mean excusing harmful actions, forgetting what happened, or restoring the relationship right away. It is about releasing the emotional burden without necessarily approving of the behavior. It allows you to process your thoughts, acknowledge the things you’ve experienced, and begin to transform how you think about what happened. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to completely forget what happened—it means choosing to move forward without carrying the emotional weight.
- How does forgiveness fit into the Character Strengths Profile?
Forgiveness is one of the 24 VIA Character Strengths and is part of the Temperance virtue. Temperance includes strengths that help you stay grounded and avoid extremes. When you take the Character Strengths Profile, you will see how forgiveness ranks among your core traits.
- What is the Character Strengths Profile?
The Character Strengths Profile is a personalized report that highlights your unique combination of the 24 character strengths. It helps you understand how your strengths, like forgiveness, show up in daily life and how to use them more effectively. If you're looking for a quick, focused starting point, try our personality report and discover your five highest signature strengths and begin applying them with greater intention.
- Why should I develop my forgiveness strength?
Building forgiveness can support stronger relationships, reduce stress, and help you feel more emotionally resilient. It also contributes to better teamwork, flexibility during change, and overall well-being. Forgiveness is an exercise in maturity and growth—it is an act of courage. This benefits individuals and communities alike. When you choose to forgive, you’re making a good decision for your mental and emotional health.
- How can I apply forgiveness in everyday situations?
You can start by noticing when you hold onto frustration and asking yourself how letting go might serve you. Practicing empathy and choosing not to dwell on negative feelings are small but powerful ways to activate this strength. Keep in mind that forgiveness is a process, and it’s okay if it doesn’t happen all at once. In time, your heart may feel more open to love, compassion, and peace.