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Finding the Bravery to Move On

By Dr. Judy Krings

My 34 year old son, Sean, was hesitant to leave his job. He was under-appreciated (and he is very humble). When he was hired, he was promised a $10,000 signing bonus that was never paid. He continually received top reviews, but was told corporate had changed their policies, so he would not get the 10% pay increase after 6 months… and on and on… Yet Sean persevered. He got outstanding reviews on paper, but he never got a verbal review ever!

A New Work Culture

One of Sean’s buddies had a head hunter friend, and he told him about Sean. Within a week Sean was interviewed by a new company that PRIDES themselves in being a LOVING family-owned business. Are they ever! They hired him on the spot with a big raise. But loving Sean was worried about leaving his old company and hurting feelings. Yes, kindness is at the top of his profile with forgiveness, love, etc, so others had mattered to him more than himself. But he is learning!

Sean is a changed man. They LOVE him openly at his new company and they can’t believe they did not have to train him. They gave him a huge office that overlooks a park, and have already told him he is the best hire ever. They have taken him to all the suppliers, some of whom he already knows. Sean said, “Mom, I always worked hard. This was my job. I didn’t realize I could be HAPPY working until now!”

Strengths Appreciation Goes A Long Way

Sean has learned his loyalty, tenacity, hope and love strengths were strong, perhaps too strong, so he stayed at his old job. His bravery (finally!) and his openness now to change and self-confidence and moving forward is amazing. He is the happiest I have ever seen him. He talks with much more assertiveness. I think he believed with his ADD, he was lucky to have ANY job. Now what he has learned he can do/be/learn anything, and he will never again think he is not worthy.

And get this. His old boss tried to top the new company’s offer by a huge amount to get him to stay. Sean was appreciative, but said he needed to move on. Now his boss has bad-mouthed him all over the Midwest. What is good? Several kind folks have let him know this is going on. They have supported Sean and been so encouraging that he did the right thing. Social support has opened his eyes happily wider.

I am so proud of him. As a kid, he was sick for many years physically. He had to persevere. He never complained. Now he is resurrecting strengths he has not used and/or letting overused strengths take a good long rest. He is happy as a lark that he is learning about life.

Strengths to me = metamorphosis opportunities every day!